All of my friends knew of my proclivity to eat my wife’s cream pies, though at first some of them thought it quite odd if not disgusting, they have since learned to accept it and even after the first few times have begun to encourage the behavior.This year preceding the party all of them at one time or another had promised me that this year was going to be special, and that they were conspiring to give me a unique Christmas present that they hoped I would enjoy.Other than this rather cryptic message I was left in the dark to wonder what their gift could possibly be.So back to the party, the married men had each fucked my wife twice and I had lovingly cleaned her after each encounter. As always we tend to end the party by ten o’clock so the real party can start before midnight.By the time everyone had left and my single friends had taken their dates home only to return within the hour. My spouse and I tidy up the house somewhat and then I strip my wife down to her panties and watch her. "Perhaps something more easily seen by the eye, I meant," while pushing the standard contract across to her for signature. Reading quickly, she paid the initial fee of $100, all one dollar bills. She explained, "I strip part-time at the Cuntry." (a notorious lesbian bar across the river in Kentucky). Upon hearing this horrifying confession, I began using tongs to count her payment."Did you two have a fight?"Sobbing, her body shaking, she admitted. "I caught her cheating on me!" With a man or another woman?"She snarled, "At Candyland." (How did Mensa miss these two?)Taking rapid notes, looking up, "Do you think she might be having doubts about her sexuality and is out searching for a penis?" (perhaps she has a protein deficiency.) "Never," she bellowed, before slamming her meaty hand down on my desk in anger, the ashtray flying in a perfect arc until crashing across the bridge of my nose with a distinct crackle, reminding me to buy my favorite candy bar, and leaving me bloody and.
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